I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Girls should come with a carfax report
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
