Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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