Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
