You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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