Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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