Small penises have feelings too.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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