In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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