Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
