i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
