he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
