I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
