so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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