My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
