Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
