That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
