wat bout pragnant strippers??
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
