I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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