I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
