You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
