Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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