This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
