I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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