What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
