Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
