dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
