i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
