Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
