Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
