Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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