It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
