we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
the raccoons are back...
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