oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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