I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
