My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
