Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
