Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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