so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
