Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
