Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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