Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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