Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
