oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
