im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
