I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
