Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
