she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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