Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize