Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
