it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize