Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
