So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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