office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
