I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
