Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
