We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
