I should be sponsored by Trojan
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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