Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
