He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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