i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You need a sexual gate keeper
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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