4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize