I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
