I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
