Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
